Alot of things have been going through my mind for the past couple of weeks. One person senses were strong enough to know that I was going through something and knew that I was not my usual self.
For the longest time I had high hopes and was always the mediator. Certain relationships in my life have changed so much. I never wanted to be caught up in a relationship that was so hopeful but in the end turned out to be nothing but show. As years have gone by its understandable that people change but there's different changes. Either good or bad whatever the case may be even if you change as a person the people that have been there might have changed along the way but if it was really a true thing theres nothing in this world that could ever seperate it. I'm trying to pint point the time of when this whole ordeal started and how it got up to the level it is right now. It ALL makes sense when two people can't get along and two others are caught in the middle. No one is innocent in this, each one of us have made mistakes. Most of the time we are all busy with our own lives and dealing with our own problems but whatever happen to just staying true and being there. Things are meant to fade just like your favorite pair of blue jeans. My optimism blinded my heart and didn't realize the truth about it. Were not close anymore, we love each other with everything we have but we live seperate lives and things are different now, were all in a different world with different views and points. That's what was beautiful about it in the beginning 4 different worlds reuniting as one but not even that was sufficient. The stronger catch the feeling before getting deep .. deep into deep shit. There's only one person that nows how I feel because she felt it first before I ever did. She has learned to deal with it but I'm still in that process. I'm sure we love each other and the next time we see each other I know it won't be awkward that's one of the very few people in this world where ICANTRULYBEMYSELF & knows my deepest secrets.
I don't know what will happen in the next couple of months or so but I will always be here even when im not there. This is not something to easily forget because it will always be in my heart.
Carmen Lee <3
2 comments:
not sure whats going on. but just keep ur head up theirs sunny days and theirs gloomy rainy days no matter what there will be a rainbow. think positive surround yourself around positive ppl and things will be fine time heals everything it mite seem like for ever but it will happen. Your a beautiful and smart girl. sometimes things happen for the worst and sometimes they happen for the best but we always learn!! hope things get better sooner than later hunny!!
awwww carmen!! im sorry your going through a rough time with whoever it is. It's hard to keep anytype of relationship i know. trust me, but these are the times that show you who is really there for you. I have a friend in chicago that i speak to maybe 5x a yr. but i know if i ever needed her she'd be there. keep smiling beautiful :)
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