The

Love, Family & Friends

& that list in depth in my world goes something like this. The emotions, people, situations, dreams that make me write. That makes me feel, laugh, desire and occasionally cry while everything else feels dreary. Why we feel a certain way about a person. Learning more about myself.. the day you say you know it all is the day you hit rock bottom. The sky how its never ending and how I always manage to look up just to see if I might see a glimpse of something spiritual. My heart and why it beats the way it does when certain people are around.Why it shuts off and closes to others. Looking into someone's eyes to see a vulnerability in them and afraid they might see mine.. My stomach and the good weird feeling when I hear, see or touch. Why I get shy about certain things. Looking back at my old diary's and the way it feels, it's like touching all my emotions at once in some unknown way. A rose I saved over time and the smile I get when I think back of the memory. People with great stories, the tales of love behind them. Facing your inner demons and getting through them. The fact that people can't realize their own demons, let alone their own personal truths. A good text message, the rarity of a two long hour phone calls. Making fun of you. A smile that I find warm and inviting. The old songs I use to reminisce to, and the times I still do even though the memory has far way faded. If everyone would validate people more often, the surprise of acceptance would be incredible. The meaning behind a great hug. A kiss on the forehead.

Getting wasted with a person I trust at times. Drinking is not everything, only when I'm in the mood. Talking about our fears, tears, wants, desires and not feeling vulnerable to speak about such things. Overly optimistic people almost make me a shade uncomfortable.... there's nothing wrong with being happy.. but weary of those...who hide from the dark side.. people who are non-responsive to emotions/responsibilities... and pretend its all okay... which all goes back to validation.

People who enjoy doing simple things, big things, small things with me count the most. People who can handle it. Love, sadness, hurt, pain, trust complication. It's very rare to find those kinds of people. People who have been sober long enough to see past the triggers of wanting to do whatever their addiction maybe. Cheating, Lying, Stealing, Abusing Drugs/Alcohol. People who mean what they say, and say what they mean.. GENUINE PEOPLE.

Love. How someone can become so precious to you, I really wonder how that happens to you. Its some chemical that creates, reacts in all sorts of ways. The adoration that follows, the way it feels when that person touches you and can make every muscle in your body slowly untangle. The butterflies. How nothing else matters when your around them.

How some wicked thing corrupts your love, how it affects you. The way people deal with it. How much it controls a person and how they get it embedded in their head how they feel, the anxiety, the tears, all this emotion from one single other person.

Until then all that remains is this.. Right Now.